Reset and Redirect your Mindset for Success
Human beings are hardwired from the days of our ancestors on the Savannah Plain some 200,000 years ago. The fight or flight instinct was instilled in us when we had to fight or flee for our life when threatened by predators. Although we live in a very different reality today, we do so with the ingrained mentality of the Stone Age hunter-gatherers.
Evolutionary psychology allows us to understand why people act as they do in certain settings and in everyday life. It also helps us to find other ways to adapt to our current reality. In short, to not activate the fight or flight response when we get stuck in traffic or have an argument with our partner and are not really under threat.
This Stone Age mentality can cause us to outcompete and struggle through our lives to try and reach what we perceive as “success”. Although this can work, it can be extremely stressful and remove all the joy from the journey.
By reframing and applying specific techniques, we can get out of our own way and help create unstoppable success from within. When we are not able to enjoy the journey and all that life throws at us, it is as good as wasting precious time and energy.
Limiting beliefs
We are shaped by our past experiences and the core beliefs those experiences have created within us. If these have all been positive, then you will most likely feel resilient in the face of challenges and flexible to your ever-changing circumstances.
If on the other hand, they have been mixed with negative ones remaining fresh in your memory, you may be living your life by a set of core values which include fear, doubt and uncertainty.
Think about any memorable moments that have had a negative impact on you. What limiting beliefs did you create and are still holding on to as a direct result of them? Take some time to think about and journal on these experiences.
Rewrite your past
Your past experiences do not need to define your future, the first step is determining if this might be the case. Do you regularly think about past events and imagine what would have happened had things gone differently? If the answer is yes, then your past may well be impacting what you create in your future.
One thing to bear in mind when thinking about difficult situations and any harsh words that were exchanged is that it most likely wasn’t personal. When emotions are high, words are often exchanged but not really meant. It all goes back to the survival instinct. Think about it this way, have you said something to someone before that you didn’t mean but said because you were upset? If you’ve done it to others, it’s likely others have done it to you also. It’s not personal.
Forgive yourself and all those involved in the incident that you keep replaying in your mind. Forgiveness doesn’t need to be a long-drawn-out process, you don’t even need to talk about it with the person involved. It can be a simple declaration to yourself that you forgive yourself, the people involved and the situation that occurred. This can often release a lot of stress and emotional baggage you have been carrying around.
You can also take it one step further and imagine the situation going another way. A way that is handled calmly with strong emotions in check and that you walk away from knowing you articulated yourself how you wanted to. This can bring closure to the situation but may need to be repeated a few times to feel the effect.
Every experience both positive and negative can be a learning experience, so ask yourself, what have I learned from this experience? Also, how has it made me stronger? These questions will bring awareness to similar experiences that may occur in the future and allow you to handle them differently.
Creating new beliefs
If you find that you often respond to situations negatively, then it may be helpful to redefine the core beliefs you want to live by. Is it compassion, loyalty, honesty? Whatever it is that you feel is true to who you really are, write it down. Keep this list somewhere handy and whenever you encounter a difficult situation, read the list, and respond embodying your core beliefs.
If you’re familiar with the work of Abraham Hicks, you will be aware that their key message is that changing how you feel is just one thought away. So, if you notice negative thoughts going for a swim in your mind, flip it to something positive, or think about something you are grateful for in that moment. Negativity can’t exist when you are feeling grateful.
You time
Making time for yourself each day should be a priority. When you have time to reflect, grow, challenge and believe, you not only get the opportunity to shape how your future unfolds, but you also bring the best version of yourself for your loved ones.
Daily habits to accomplish this do not need to take a lot of time, you will soon start to see how it is in fact time spent very wisely. Think about what you enjoy doing and how much time you will commit to this. This will help turn the practices into a habit that you look forward to every day.
A sandwich of positivity
One simple change that takes just a few minutes each day is to start your day envisioning how you want your day to go. Think about things you know are happening but also how you want to feel. For example, envisage the meeting with the client going smoothly, you’re both clearly singing from the same choir book. Feel the excitement about starting to work on the project. Look forward to trying that new restaurant, and the food and service being amazing. When you do this before getting out of bed, you are setting the intentions for your day. After some practice, you will begin to see how closely your day matches your vision.
Then at the end of the day when you climb into bed, name three things you are grateful for that happened during the day. For example, Linda at work seeing my busy schedule and making me a needed coffee without having to ask for it. My commute taking 15 minutes less than it usually does. The compliment I received about my hair. You get the gist.
Starting your day with a strong vision and ending it with gratitude, takes a mere few minutes but can dramatically shift your mindset towards happiness and success.
Looking forward
There are many more self-care habits you can incorporate into your daily routine, such as yoga, meditation, breathwork or going for a run. It’s about finding something that you will look forward to doing every day and that will have a positive impact on your mindset to prime you for success.
Personal development is a lifelong journey, not a short-term fix so you feel better temporarily. Developing awareness about what you focus on, will help you be more present and less likely to let your mind wander on autopilot towards negative thoughts.
When you fall off the wagon, you can reset as many times as you need to get back on the right path. Your positivity and confidence will soon become core beliefs and a way of life that will eventually become effortless.
